22/4/09 - my tantrum

On Wednesday I had a tantrum at something Cam had said and stormed off in a huff. On instinct I grabbed my camera bag and the book I was reading and headed to Nunns walk. My Fav place. I had been wanting to check out more of what lies below Nunns Walk......as Nunns walk is a track that runs along the esplanade in Morington/Mt Martha with lots of little smaller tracks comming off it leading down to the beaches below, so I did. It was a nice walk to the leash free beach, which wasn't sand but rocks. It was lovely, not another soul in sight and the sun was out but low. I took a few photos, I am happy with perhaps 2 or 3 of them. Here is one of them

I processed it yesterday with a very special Man in mind. It's getting printed right now and I will enter it for Camera club if the print turns out alright. I think I will call it "Russell's Day", Russell is my husbands Dad and on the 22/4/09 just hours after I took this photo Russell closed his eyes for the last time. I don't know what else to say, it's not my place to talk about Cam's feelings and my blog isn't the place I would talk about it anyway. Anything I want to say to him I have already said so I wont use my blog to communicate some soppy corny message to him (he is probably up to his eyeballs in my soppyness). He knows how I feel and I know how he feels and that is all that matters right now. 

Anyway, so that's whats happening here at the moment. It's needless to say that I wont be waving to you on my way to Healesville Jaykay......I had to pull out of this weekends trip, judging by the weather I would not have had much fun anyway and would have spend the weekend in my sleeping bag doing nothing but reading.

Strangely enough, the 22/4 was Anna's due date 4 years ago.......so we celebrated by letting a couple of nurses jab her with her 4yr old immunisations LOL.....sadistic parents we are. She was amazing, she din't cry, she said "ow ow ow" as she WATCHED the needle go into her arm (dunno where she gets that from) and then accepted her jelly beans and jumped around popping the bubbles that filled the room from the bubble machine. I was so so soooooooo proud of our brave little girl. We had promiced to take her to Cold Rock, the ice cream joing but when we got there we realised they didn't open till 1pm........dogarses. So we had to get her a Mc Flurry instead. She decided then that she likes needles I think LOL...........however a few hours later when one of her arms started throbbing (the one that copped the tetanus I think) she quickly took her words back saying "Mummy don't ever take me to that shop again with the ladies with the needles, I don't like needles anymore." At 2am the next morning my heart officially broke as she was blubbering "It hurts it hurts" and she held her arm to her chest as if it were broken. As she climbed onto the toilet using her hand on the wall to steady herself she yelped in pain as the pressure of her hand on the wall obviously shot the pain through to the top of her arm. We had a snuggle on the couch as her panadol kicked in and my heart ached as her body was trembeling in my arms. Back in my room Cam was sleeping in a sleeping pill induced deep sleep, sleeping off the shock of losing his Dad. Ryan woke 3 times that night, we susspect he is teething. You can't help but feel a tad depressed when your home is so full of pain.

Today.......3 days later it is much better. You wouldn't know Anna had her needles, Ryan slept all night last night and Cam is much more like himself, but suffering allergies which I suspect came from going through a bag of dusty/mouldy old photos yesterday. All in all, the glass is definately half full. Oh and yes.....I did feel like a total arsehole for having that tantrum wednesday morning.....there you go Cam, that was for you XXX